Dare to Disagree: Overcome Your Fear. Forge Better Client Relationships.
Can you have client relationships where the customer isn't right? Can you challenge, be in conflict, and still have long term, ‘great’ relationships? Hell Yeah!
The Weekly Walkaway highlights negotiation in its ‘good’, ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘downright ugly’ forms. Issue No. 108 (20th March 2025)
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Dare to Disagree
Hey, Happy Friday Walkawayers.
It’s Wednesday morning, I’ve just walked the dogs and I’m armed with my morning vice, a cup of freshly ground coffee with honey, mmm, when a new client drops into my coaching schedule. Let’s call him Bob. Bob and I were introduced recently through The Weekly Walkaway, he and his team have been struggling and wanted to improve their bottom line. Their clients are mainly regional SME’s and their relationships go way back. The fact is they’re just too nice.
Bob explains he’s waiting for a call back from one of his favourite clients and he wants a sense check. His client has an urgent new role to fill and she had asked for a ‘special favour’.
Ai Generated Summary
In this edition of "The Weekly Walkaway," we dive into the art of saying "no" to maintain the value of your services, a crucial skill for any recruiter or professional in client services. We meet Bob, a likable recruiter grappling with the dilemma of preserving a client relationship while standing firm on his service's worth.
Bob's journey from apprehension to a respectful and firm stance on pricing is a masterclass in balancing professional integrity with client relations. Armed with the courage to challenge, even the nicest teams can protect their value without fear.
For more insights and to follow Bob's story make sure to read the full post below. We all have colleagues who will find value in this story so share with them and subscribe to enhance your negotiation skills.
Key Takeaways
Protect your value. Building great relationships is important, but fear the illusion of what a ‘great’ relationship is. It is no substitute for ‘great’ negotiation and negotiation begins with, ‘no’;
Don’t give away your value out of fear of rocking the boat. A true partner will respect a ‘firm yet honest’ discussion and a ‘great’ relationship alone won’t guarantee a fair deal. [The Weekly Walkaway Post Here];
Negotiating in recruitment and professional services is all about being firm on issues and warm on people. It’s a balance of friendliness and firmness to safeguard your worth and deepen the mutual respect required in long term client relationships.
We negotiate all of the time so it makes sense to get good at it. Invest in yourself and achieve immediate ROI. Start at Level 1, getting ‘good’ and progress through ‘better’ and ‘best’ as you journey to Level 3.
Can You Challenge, be in Conflict, And Still Have Long Term, ‘Great’ Relationships?
Hell Yeah!
Hey Friday Walkawayers.. where were we..? Oh yeah… It’s Wednesday morning, I’ve just walked the dogs and I’m armed with my morning vice, a cup of freshly ground coffee with honey, mmm.. Bob has explained that he’s waiting for a call back from one of his favourite clients who has asked for a “special favour”.
The “Friendly” Request
Bob explains, in his slightly embarrassed yet jovial way, that she had said:
“since we’ve been working together so well, how about a friendly rate on this one”?
She was essentially asking Bob to discount his fee and wrapping it up in warm words, compliments and reminders of how long they’d known each other.
TACTIC - The Flirt
See below
Bob and his team love long term, great, client relationships. I mean, c’mon, who doesn't?
When I started working with them it was one of the three key areas we pinpointed as a point of weakness; their illusion of what makes a ‘great’ relationship.
This illusion had created a fear where they were petrified of pushing back, challenging, their clients and in our discovery we had agreed this was a development need with near instant ROI.
As you can imagine this also caused the most resistance with the team!
They had long standing, client relationships, where in some instances they did business but at low margin.. and in one instance it was negative.. what is ‘great’ about that?!
Can you have healthy, great, client relationships where the customer isn't right, all of the time? Can you say ‘no’? Can you challenge, be in conflict, and still have long term, ‘great’, relationships?
Well of course the answer is a huge ‘YES’! And if the team needs to hit their targets it is the first place to create behavioural change!
So part of being a coach is having difficult conversations but mostly it's about asking the right questions that enable conscious competence.
Bob and his team have struggled and are struggling with the idea of pushing back but by asking some simple questions they have realised that this type of “friendly gesture” is exactly what has been devaluing their work all this time.
So on one hand, Bob doesn't want to sour the relationship and on the other hand, he has been learning that if he says yes, he has set a precedent that every future request will come with an expectation of the same.
It’s a classic recruiter’s dilemma, we hear all too often: keep the client happy versus stand your ground.
We need to be tough on issues but warm on the people. This does not mean ‘soft’!
Bob, a people-pleaser, was wrestling with his inner conflict and the professional in him, who now knew better.
Negotiation Mode: On
Instead of instantly caving in with the usual:
“Absolutely, anything for you”.
Bob had taken a deep breath and flipped Negotiation Mode: on.
Bob went on to explain that what had first brought ‘us’ together was an insight from The Weekly Walkaway: ‘relationships alone don’t ensure fairness’. In other words, constantly giving away value hoping a strong relationship will magically yield fair deals was wishful thinking. Being buddies is great, but it doesn’t pay the bills. [The Weekly Walkaway Post Here]
So armed with our coaching and this little memory nugget he had decided to push back, politely. Bob recounted that he’d said:
“I really value our partnership and I want to continue doing a top-notch job for you. To be fair to both of us, let’s stick with the standard fee for this role. That way I can dedicate my best resources to finding you the perfect candidate. If you have multiple roles coming up or plan to make several hires, then we can talk about a volume discount, but for a one-off placement I need to ensure I can commit fully and deliver the quality you expect”.
Bob then went on to describe a moment of pure silence [...insert dramatic pause…] and his feelings of panic and worry; the fear of failure.
I sipped my coffee.
Bob went on, saying he wondered if he’d overplayed his hand.
But then she apparently just chuckled and said:
“You drive a hard bargain, but I get it. Can’t blame a girl for trying, right”?
Bob and I laughed, the tension easing.
Bob had’t scheduled a coaching call for a sense check. He just wanted to share his success! And I smiled! And we continued to laugh together.
The fact is Bob hadn’t hurt the relationship, as he and his team had feared, but had earned a bit of respect and some immediate ROI.
The best part?
He had proved to himself and his resistant team that saying “no” doesn’t have to be confrontational or negative. It can be just another part of a great and healthy client relationship.
We negotiate all of the time so it makes sense to get good at it. Invest in yourself and achieve immediate ROI. Start at Level 1, getting ‘good’ and progress through ‘better’ and ‘best’ as you journey to Level 3.
Key Takeaways
Protect your value. Building great relationships is important, but fear the illusion of what a ‘great’ relationship is. It is no substitute for ‘great’ negotiation and negotiation begins with, ‘no’;
Don’t give away your value out of fear of rocking the boat. A true partner will respect a ‘firm yet honest’ discussion and a ‘great’ relationship alone won’t guarantee a fair deal. [The Weekly Walkaway Post Here];
Negotiating in recruitment and professional services is all about being firm on issues and warm on people. It’s a balance of friendliness and firmness to safeguard your worth and deepen the mutual respect required in long term client relationships.
Tactic - The Flirt
Sex Sells! Doesn’t it?
The Flirt involves using charm and charisma to influence the other party in a negotiation. It is used to establish a personal connection with the other party, make them feel comfortable and build trust. It can create an emotional connection between the parties, which may cause the other party to let their guard down.
Flirting can take many forms, such as paying compliments, using humour, or using body language to convey interest.
The goal of "The Flirt" is to create a positive and relaxed atmosphere that makes the other party more open to your ideas and proposals.
That was very well put. When we are under the emotional pressure of negotiating, our feelings can easily lead us to make bad decisions. I try to help readers feel the emotional pressure in a recent piece about "reading the room." You might like it! https://tedleonhardt.substack.com