Your Weekly Walkaway - The 10 Lessons In Negotiating From Watching Nancy Pelosi In Action.

The Weekly Walkway highlights negotiation in its ‘good’, ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘downright ugly’ forms. Newsletter Issue No. 11 (25th November 2022)

What to expect?

• Their Week - A reaction to “The 10 Lessons In Negotiating From Watching Nancy Pelosi In Action”. An article was written by Joan Michelson at Forbes.

Remember: You are a negotiator!

You are always managing some form of conflict, a difference in opinion or interest.

Thanks for reading The Weekly Walkaway! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.

---

Photo by Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash

THEIR WEEK

This week we read about “10 lessons on negotiation from watching Nancy Pelosi in action”. An excellent read and one we had some thoughts on, so we thought we’d share…

10 Lessons In Negotiating From Watching Nancy Pelosi In Action

Written by Joan Michelson at Forbes

Joan says these are the 10 lessons in Negotiating from watching Nancy Pelosi in action :

1. Understand what the other side wants and what they need;

2. Know your own bottom line;

3. Over-prepare;

4. Identify your leverage in each situation, with each person, and use it, gracefully and respectfully;

5. Use mastery of the game to accomplish your goal;

6. Have confidence in your value and what you bring to the table;

7. Stay centered even in the middle of a storm;

8. Be willing to negotiate and understand that half a loaf is better than none;

9. Partner with “the other side“ when you can, go it alone when you need to - and know when to do which one;

10. Be kind, respectful, and grateful.

The Weekly Walkaway says;

1. Understand what the other side wants and what they need: Hmmm… Well, this, of course, comes in different guises. Understanding your counterpart’s wants and needs so you can exploit them or understanding their wants and needs so you can work creatively and collaboratively together. One is based on self-interest, and the other on mutual interest. One to be careful of and the other… to be careful of!

2. Know your own bottom line: Yes, we agree. You must always know your walkaway on all variables and issues. If you don’t, you risk losing. Between your walkaway and your counterparts is the zone of agreement. It is this area you are, in fact negotiating over. Not knowing your own walkaway means your ZOPA is open…eeek! There is a time when, as long as you get something of equal or greater in return, you might be able to walk past your walkaway; but this requires higher authority and a great deal of planning of value.

3. Over-prepare: Oh Yeah. I couldn’t agree more. Plan. Plan. Plan. Preparation and planning can be considered 70% - 80% of any negotiation. From strategic to tactical. From the what-if to the what. From the analytical approach to investigating and fostering power and BATNA to the brainstorming and linking of issues. Never wing-it!

4. Identify your leverage in each situation, with each person, and use it gracefully and respectfully: Hmm, well, yes and no. Yes, always identify your leverage and if you have none, create some, by hook or by crook. But, again, depending on circumstances, you may choose to use your leverage arrogantly rather than respectfully, or you might choose to leverage coldly rather than respectfully. It’s about bending and flexing, adapting your behaviours to differing circumstances. Sometimes you’ve just got to bring the hammer down.

5. Use mastery of the game to accomplish your goal: That’s correct. Negotiation is just a game with, sometimes, very high stakes. But underneath the petticoats, you’ll find a game with ‘rules’* and processes, a common language and players. Yes, players. It’s not personal, it’s just a game, and you’ve got to play it to achieve your goals. If you try and play the game of ‘selling’, you’ll sub-optimise your deal. If you try to play the game of ‘fairness’, you’ll sub-optimise your deal. If you try to play the game of ‘argument’, you’ll sub-optimise the deal. Negotiation is the game. (*there are, in fact, no rules in negotiation, it’s a great game)

6. Have confidence in your value and what you bring to the table: Oh yes. Very much so. Confidence and a belief in yourself and the goal are key ingredients. If ever you lose confidence or belief, stop. Get out and re-set yourself. If you continue, your communication will let you down and weaken your position, as your non-verbal (the things you do) and your verbal (the things you say) will give you away.

7. Stay centred even in the middle of a storm:

   If you can keep your head when all about you,

   Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

   If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

   But make allowance for their doubting too;

   If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

   Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

   Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

   And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise…..

8. Be willing to negotiate and understand that half a loaf is better than none: A deal is better than no deal! Agreed. We can not let our ego, our pride, our vanity or our feeling of competition cloud our judgment, control our emotions, and lead us into a deadlock, no deal! But… there could be a strategic reason to deadlock... It must have been a decision made in planning, where you have concluded, in the cold light of day, when you were thinking logically and rationally, that deadlock is a route to an alternative path, out of conflict or disagreement, to the agreement.

9. Partner with “the other side“ when you can, go it alone when you need to - and know when to do which one. Coalitions, collaborators or just plain self interest. Build your BATNA’s. Destroy theirs! You need to consider doing anything that will put you on the front foot, in control, and keep you there. Moving forward on your plan towards your objectives. If not, well… You’re just hoping for the best, aren’t you!

10. Be kind, respectful, and grateful. Nah. Again this very much depends on the circumstances. It’s just a fact, as we see every day bringing up children, sometimes you’ve got to bring down the hammer! You’ve just got to consider which behaviours are most appropriate for the situation you find yourself in. Cold Hard, Firm or Tough.. may be the best way to max your deal. Or Open, Cooperative, Aimable and Warm.. But the choice has to be yours and you need to make a choice. Don’t just let your emotions or base instinct control your behaviours. You will sub optimise the deal.

---

---

Submit ‘Your Week’, make comments or offer suggestions here or at hello@kahvay.com.