You Are The Worst Negotiator, Ever!
This week we focus on 'The Bad' and some of the 'Downright Ugly' traits of Bad Negotiators.. Do you recognise any in yourself?
The Weekly Walkaway highlights negotiation in its ‘good’, ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘downright ugly’ forms. Issue No. 59 (19th January 2024).
Remember: You are a negotiator!
You are always managing some form of conflict, a difference of opinion or interest.
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THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
You Are The Worst Negotiator, Ever!
Bad negotiators are just, well you know… meh.
Here are some of their awe-inspiring negative traits. Recognise any?
The Bad Listeners - Neglect active listening, which leads to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.
I mean wow.. Best way to get this started is to kick it off with my No1. The inability to Listen.
Good negotiation involves active listening. It is not rocket science, people, yet some negotiators focus so much on presenting, convincing and arguing their own point they neglect to hear the ideas, issues, concerns and perspectives of their counterpart.
Ignoring their needs and desires leads to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.
The Cowboys - Failing to prepare for negotiations, resulting in missed opportunities.
Why prepare when you can just wing it? That's right you get added to the ‘worse negotiator’ list when you excel at leaving everything until the last minute.
Who needs information and strategy anyway?!
FACT: Bad negotiators fail to prepare for negotiations.
Little or no preparation leads to sub optimising the opportunity. By not understanding the circumstances The Cowboy is unable to leverage information effectively. Information is power.
It is a common pitfall. Effective negotiators;
research the subject matter and the goals of both parties;
understand all of the relevant data and parties involved;
anticipate potential issues, risks and opportunities to grow.
Bad planning and a lack of preparation is just dumb.
The Pillow Huggers - Just Bad Communication - Using unclear and vague communication, causing confusion and hindering the negotiation process.
The pillow hugger’s communication skills are truly bonkers. They talk in circles, use soft and vague terms, and leave everyone utterly confused. It's like negotiating with Mr Bean.
FACT: Ineffective communication derails negotiations.
Bad negotiators struggle to express themselves clearly, leading to misunderstandings and confusion.
Firm, clear and effective communication is crucial in negotiations. The Pillow Hugger;
struggles to express themselves clearly;
lacks conviction and is perceived weak and movable;
is unable to articulate their position and so becomes a blocker to reaching agreements.
The IN-Flexibility Olympians - Being rigid and resistant to new ideas, hindering creativity and adaptability.
“No, we don't do that here”. Or “This is the way we always do it”.
OMG I hear this phrase too often. Spoken by that one in the corner who’s middle name is ‘Inflexibility’.
Creativity? Finding innovative solutions? Nah, bad negotiators are allergic to thinking outside the box. They prefer to stick firmly within the confines of mediocrity.
I mean, why bother, why adapt when you can stick to your guns, block every opportunity for new ideas, even if those guns are shooting you in your own foot?
A lack of willingness to explore ideas and alternative solutions is a big red flag that hangs high above bad negotiators. They stick rigidly to the rules and historical processes making creativity impossible.
RELEASE THE REBEL
The Empty Black Holes - Lacking emotional intelligence, dismissing others' concerns, and failing to understand counterparts' needs.
Feeling the pain of others? Nah.. not in a bad negotiator's job description I’m afraid.
Emotional intelligence? It's like a foreign language to them. Bad negotiators navigate the emotional landscape with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop.
Effective negotiation involves understanding and managing emotions. Yours and theirs.
Someone who is unable to control their own or others emotions loses control easily and reacts impulsively.
Bad negotiators are fantastic at dismissing others' concerns with a casual wave of indifference.
They lack empathy and fail to understand or consider the needs, concerns, and perspectives of their counterparts and this is unfortunately an all too common trait. It strains relationships!
The Trust Destroyers - Failing to build trust and establish rapport, which is essential for successful negotiations.
Building trust is for amateurs. Phah!!
Bad negotiators prefer to keep everyone on their toes by being as trustworthy as a used car salesman in a suspiciously dark area of the internet.
Building a positive relationship with your counterpart is often essential for successful negotiations. Negotiators who fail to build trust and establish rapport find it impossible to achieve opportunities to share information, openly.
Sharing information is essential to create;
a collaborative environment to find common ground;
cooperation to solve problems and;
create value to mutually grow.
ADDITION: A fair negotiator's continued commitment to equity and fairness to develop perceived trust leads to concessions that compromise their position, resulting in suboptimal outcomes and ultimately a breakdown in trust.
Being assertive, firm yet warm, enables respect and generates trust. Fairness, although admirable, is perceived as weakness or having a weakened position which creates an opposite effect; exploitation and then resentment.
We call it ‘The Negotiators Dilemma’.
Mr and Mrs Aggressive - Approaching negotiations with a win-lose mindset, creating hostile environments and leading to dissatisfaction.
Behaviour ultimately breeds behaviour!
Therefore an aggressive, confrontational approach creates hostile environments. Yup, there will be no trust or collaboration here!
The worst negotiator approaches negotiations with a win-lose or if not then lose-lose mindset. Their overemphasis on winning with a win-at-all-costs mentality where they seek ‘take it all’ at the expense of their counterparty leads to dissatisfaction and resentment.
The Child - Avoiding accountability, blaming others for mistakes, and being defensive in the face of challenges.
Accountability is for losers! Bad negotiators are experts at blaming others for any bad planning, lack of information, misunderstandings, bad behaviour.. Well everything that could go wrong!
They are defensive when faced with challenges or critiques rather than open to listening to feedback. This prevents constructive discussions and prevents the resolution of issues.
Reflect often. Take responsibility for your own growth and for any mistakes so you can learn from them.
What worked?
What didn't?
What will you need to do differently next time?
The Scorchers - Prioritising short-term gains over long-term relationships and collaboration.
Long-term relationships? Future collaborations? Who needs those when you can go for the quick win and leave a trail of scorched bridges behind you?
The Scorcher is a bad negotiator who prioritises their own self gratification, self satisfaction, as they pursue immediate gains at the expense of long-term relationships.
Having a short-term focus leads to sub optimising their deals. They might get more out of this one deal but those who look to the long term grow more as they harness the potential for future collaboration and sustainable agreements.
The Impatient Ones - Acting impulsively, making hasty decisions, and rushing agreements, leading to dissatisfaction and overlooked details.
A classic trait of a bad negotiator is impatience.
FACT: They make hasty decisions, unnecessary concessions, fuel inappropriate emotions where counterparts, to protect themselves are more likely to say ‘NO’ rather than take time to consider.
The Impatient One is impulsive. They act impulsively, they make unplanned, unscripted decisions without the required consideration of the consequences.
Every time they open their mouth money just pours out!
This bad behaviour leads to rushed agreements, overlooked details, regrettable compromises, resentment and dissatisfaction!
Summary
So The Worst Negotiator’s negative traits include:
Bad Listeners: Neglecting active listening, which leads to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.
The Cowboys: Procrastinating and failing to prepare for negotiations, resulting in missed opportunities.
The Pillow Hugger - Just Bad Communication: Using unclear and vague communication, causing confusion and hindering the negotiation process.
The IN-Flexibility Olympian: Being rigid and resistant to new ideas, hindering creativity and adaptability.
The Empty Black Hole: Lacking emotional intelligence, dismissing others' concerns, and failing to understand counterparts' needs.
The Trust Destroyer: Failing to build trust and establish rapport, which is essential for successful negotiations.
Mr and Mrs Aggressive: Approaching negotiations with a win-lose mindset, creating hostile environments and leading to dissatisfaction.
The Child: Avoiding accountability, blaming others for mistakes, and being defensive in the face of challenges.
The Scorchers: Prioritising short-term gains over long-term relationships and collaboration.
The Impatient One: Acting impulsively, making hasty decisions, and rushing agreements, leading to dissatisfaction and overlooked details.
To be the best negotiator you can be, you'll need to remind yourself of the need for effective communication, preparation, flexibility, emotional intelligence, trust-building, and a focus on long-term relationships.
What would you add to the list?
#NavigatingBetterNegotiatedOutcomes
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