If You Are Unwilling To Take Control You GIVE Your Power Away!
Power-Up. It is just a mindset! This Week We Explore Where Does Your Power Really Come From?
The Weekly Walkaway highlights negotiation in its ‘good’, ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘downright ugly’ forms. Issue No. 93 (8th November 2024).
Hey there, Walkawayers! I was honoured to work with a client this week on a one day session to ‘Power-Up’ the team.
20 experienced execs, all in the same room but with four different negotiations but the all the usual issues persisting.
Not understanding what power really is;
Not knowing who has real power and being controlled by ‘their’ perception of power;
Not wanting to use power for fear of upsetting their clients.
So this week we jumped down the rabbit hole that is ‘Power; and came out the other end feeling far more… well.. powerful but more importantly with a much more positive mindset.
But for those of you short of time.. here is the conclusion:
Conclusion
(your personal short cut)
In the end, power in negotiations isn’t just about dominance or brute force; it’s about understanding, strategy, and self-awareness.
When you grasp where your real power comes from, whether through;
market position,
perceived value,
strong relationships,
or mastery of time,
….. you begin to shift from a reactive to a proactive mindset.
You’re no longer merely responding to the pressures around you but shaping the negotiation landscape.
You have climbed to the top of your lighthouse and are steering ships away from the dangerous channel rather than dealing with breaking ships on the rocks at your feet!
So The Key Takeaway?
Power up by owning your strengths and your mindset.
Don’t hand over control by downplaying your worth or fearing conflict; instead, recognise that power is a versatile tool.
It can be subtle, relational, and even silent, but it’s always there for those willing to embrace it.
Remember; climb to the top of your lighthouse gain a better perspective, get into their head and get out of yours, be willing to take control and realise your power.
So, who’s got the power?
You do.. You are much more equal than you think…
Let’s break down where your power comes from.
1. Your Place in the Market
Let’s be real. If you’re the Deloitte, Coke, Nike or Amazon of your industry, you’re naturally holding more cards than the startups bubbling up around you.
There’s ‘a brand,’ and then there’s a BRAND. We’re talking about the difference between “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them,” and “I’d crawl through glass to work with them.”
Strong brands radiate power because they’re more than just logos or taglines, they’re promises.
It's all about the power of social proof.
If your name alone can make clients weak at the knees, you’re already sitting on a juicy fist full of leverage.
Just don’t get cocky. Power is ever shifting like the sands on the dunes of Namibia. A strong brand is like a sports car; keep it polished, or one dent and it’s all anyone will talk about for a long time.
So your position in the market matters. If you’re top dog, power is all you know.
But if you’re the underdog? Just remember you don't negotiate with Brands, Companies, Organisations. You negotiate with people.. People just like you.
So maybe you’ll need to understand some of these other points.
2. Are You Valuable?
Are you actually valuable?
Do you think you’re valuable? Do you believe you’re valuable?
And more importantly, do ‘they’ think you’re valuable?
If your unique skills, offerings or selling points light up the room, you’ve got power.
Seriously.. Are You More Valuable Than Your Competitors?
In negotiations, being valuable is good; being more valuable than ‘their’ alternatives is pure gold.
If your competitors look like The Dutch national rugby team while you’re The South African rugby team, well, congratulations, power is yours.
But if the competition’s been hitting the ‘get more valuable’ gym, gaining a few ‘investment’ or innovation pounds, then maybe you’d better prepare for a tough scrummage.
3. Are you Legitimate?
Have you been empowered by someone in high authority or maybe do you have legal precedent or the power to enforce compliance of contracts?
If little ol you goes off, telling ‘them’ what to do, it might not be as powerful as when your CEO or CFO tells them what is going to happen and that ‘little ol you’ is their right hand, who is going to manage the change. You have been empowered.
Legal precedent, contractual obligations or even the threat of legal action, can make you an immovable force in negotiations.
Contracts aren’t just words on paper; they’re powerful tools.
If you can legally enforce terms, you hold significant leverage. You hold the power of the carrot and the stick; both the ability to reward or punish based on ‘their’ actions.
4. Risk of Change. Who’s More Comfortable with Shaking Things Up?
Change, the one thing everyone says they love but in fact fear.
People like ‘status quo’, it's a human thing.. And yes, the older you are the less you’ll like change.
Let your people disrupt.. let them innovate.. let them get paint all over their faces..
We spend our lives telling our kids ‘don’t do that’.. ‘don’t climb that’.. let them be brave.. let them explore.. let them be… so they grow up to be comfortable with change..
It is so powerful..
In negotiations, whoever is more comfortable with disruption usually will have the edge, especially if you’re the one who can handle walking away the deal and riding out the storm. You’ll have power.
If they are terrified of altering the status quo, then all the better for you.
Always plan for change.
Get a head of the tender process. Get so far ahead that you write the tender for your client and while your competitors fill it in you're already sat at the table negotiating value..
But more importantly you’ve got to challenge yourself to consider the circumstances;
What are the markets doing right now? Is the economy right for change and in whose favour will that change be?
Innovation. Are you in front? Are you leading your market with shiny or are you dull and old? Time to make a change?
People. Changes in people happen all the time.. are you aware or just complacently sitting in happy status quo, hugging unicorns under the rainbow, totally unaware that change is just about to rock your world.. And those sprinkles are coated in something a hell of a lot smellier than candy?
The power to be in charge of change is all about being the agent of disruption and innovation.
If you’re the one calling the shots when it comes to shifts in strategy, new policies, or overhauls in the way things get done, then you’re holding the reins of transformation.
This isn’t just about embracing change but commanding it.
5. Relationships with the Right People
And that leads us very nicely onto relationships.
Sometimes, power is all about who you know, not what you know!
Well not all the time but it helps.. Like a hell of a lot!
If you’ve got the ear of senior stakeholders or you just have better connections than your counterpart within their own firm then you’re already in the driver’s seat.
This is where networking shines. This is why you sell. To get to know their Queens!! Those who can say ‘yes’.. Not the lowly pawns who scurry around, easily contactable, but without any real power or influence, so they only say ‘no’.
Remember, there’s a difference between ‘friends in high places’ and ‘friendly acquaintances in forgettable cubicles’.
Make sure you’re in a relationship with the right people, not just the ones easy to get hold of, they rarely hold any influence. That’s power!
6. Historical Precedent. Are You Reliable and therefore Credible?
Does your word mean something?
When you say ‘I’ll get it done’, do people believe you?
Are you firm and tough.. Or are you easy and soft?
If you make a threat, do you follow through?
Do you walk the walk as well as talk the talk?
Reliability should never ever be underestimated.
If your history speaks of ‘I get stuff done’, or ‘I follow-through’ or ‘I don't just talk the talk I also walk the walk’, then people will trust you when you say you mean business.
And trust, in negotiations, is power. Good trust and bad trust.. Good as in ‘I got the job done’. Bad as in ‘I warned you, it wasn't hollow, I did what I said I was going to do’.
Trust me when I say.. If you say ‘my final offer’ or this is my BAFO, and then keep making more concessions you have weakened your position, not just for now but for ever.. Until you toughen up and show some resolve!
7. Circumstances: The State of the World and Who Knows More?
The economy, the political landscape, the latest thing on the front page,these aren’t just background noise. They shape who has power and who doesn’t.
For example, when the job market is in decline and there is an oversupply of ‘people’, your clients gain some of the upper hand, why?
Economics 101. Supply and demand.
If there are ten people behind every job your one candidate is going to feel less powerful.
But when there is scarcity in the market and if you have the quality ‘people’ then your power grows.
Timing, as they say, is everything.
And this goes for all those big power brands we spoke about at the beginning..
One sure way of changing the power dynamic is to keep a very close eye to the ‘changing circumstances’.
Because knowledge is power.
If you’re the one with the inside scoop, whether that’s market intelligence, your counterpart’s weak points or just better research you can dominate the conversation.
Remember, it’s not just about what you know; it’s about what they don’t know that gives you the edge. Plan. Plan. Plan.
8. Level of Dependency on Each Other (Do You Have BATNAs?)
The golden rule of negotiations; he or she who has alternatives (BATNAs) has power.
We’ve said it before. Never fall in love once!
If you can walk away without breaking a sweat, you’re in a strong position.
But if the other party knows you need them more than they need you? Well of course power shifts right out of your hands, straight to them.
Never put yourself in a position where the other side knows you’ve got nowhere else to go.
Now the big kicker here is that personally you might feel ‘you’ need them.. It affects your KPI’s, your rewards, your commissions etc.. But that is where most professional services give away their power..
Change this.. YOU MUST CHANGE this to: Does my company need their business? If the answer is yes then the company needs to change this immediately and diversify.. Thats just good business isn't it.. BUT.. Most of the time you’ll find that the resources and effort you put into one client can be shifted to another and if that is the case then you should not be dependent on any one client.. Meaning your company has power.. Use that!
Make sure you negotiate internally to have this pressure released off you. Without this pressure you will become power!
9. Time! Who Has Control Over the Clock?
Last but absolutely not least we have time.
In any negotiation, whoever controls the clock has the upper hand. Simples.
If they are under a deadline and you’re sipping a cup of earl grey with no rush, then you’ll practically feel the power surge.
But if it’s your clock that’s ticking……….
Remember, a countdown timer creates desperation, and desperation is the last thing you want in a negotiation.
If you can set the deadlines, enforce timelines, or delay things at will then you have power.
Time pressure is a classic negotiation tactic.
If you thought the power discussion was over… think again.
Check out these extra factors. Do you have the:
1. Power to Be Proactive
Do you have the ability to act, not just react. When you’re the one steering the ship, anticipating moves, and setting the agenda, you’re not just in the negotiation; you’re running it.
Proactivity is like negotiating with a crystal ball. If you’re the one setting up meetings, coming prepared with data, or proposing new ideas, you’re setting the pace, and they’ll have to keep up.
2. Power to Do Absolutely Nothing
This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, the strongest move you can make is to do… absolutely nothing.
When you have the power to be intransigent, to refuse to budge, you’re sending a strong message: “I don’t need to be flexible, you do.”
If you can afford to hang tough.. Keep them at arms distance.. For as long as possible.. Ticking the clock down.. Then you’ll force them to concede.
Just make sure they know you’re not being lazy.. you’re being strategically inert.
And you’ll remember that people value the things that are hard to achieve.. So if you toughen up, don’t move so much and so easily, become more stubborn you’ll satisfy them even more when you finally do move… SIMPLES.. Easy power move. The law of satisfaction.
Stubbornness just says you’re not afraid of a little friction. Not afraid of conflict.. That you embrace it..
3. Power to Be an Enforcer
Now we’re talking muscle.
The power to be an enforcer is all about backing up your words with action.
To Punish or Reward.
In negotiations, the power to punish is like holding a big red button labelled “consequences.”
Now, we’re not advocating Machiavellian tactics, but let’s face it, when people know there’s a penalty for crossing you, they tend to fall in line.
Whether it’s enforcing penalties in a contract, withholding a reward, or threatening to take your valuable business elsewhere, the power to punish (and actually follow through) is a powerful motivator.
We prefer the carrot over the stick here at Kahvay so consider warning of the consequences first and creating a positive conditional trade that is weighted to reward enforcement not punishment.
Conclusion
In the end, power in negotiations isn’t just about dominance or brute force; it’s about understanding, strategy, and self-awareness. When you grasp where your real power comes from—whether through market position, perceived value, strong relationships, or mastery over time—you begin to shift from a reactive to a proactive stance. You’re no longer merely responding to the pressures around you but shaping the negotiation landscape.
The takeaway? Power up by owning your strengths and your mindset. Don’t hand over control by downplaying your worth or fearing conflict; instead, recognize that power is a versatile tool. It can be subtle, relational, and even silent, but it’s always there for those willing to embrace it. Remember, the goal is not just to ‘win’ a negotiation but to walk away feeling confident, respected, and clear in your choices. Take control, know your power, and watch how your negotiations transform.