SELL! SELL! SELL!
‘Selling’ vs ‘Negotiating’ and the fact that it (selling) just gives away your power. You just seem more needy than them! Simples.
The Weekly Walkaway highlights negotiation in its ‘good’, ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘downright ugly’ forms. Issue No. 76 (3rd May 2024).
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Thought of The Week
SELL! SELL! SELL!
‘Selling’ vs ‘Negotiating’ and the fact that it (selling) just gives away your power. You just seem more needy than them! Simples.
Hello you beautiful Walkawayers and welcome back for another negotiation rant from me, Giles Morgan at Kahvay… but.. before we start, let's get something straight.
YOU ALL SELL!
That’s right.. every single one of you are sellers!
And… yes, before you Buyers, HRBP’s, PM’s, Managers, Accountants, Marketiers and even you Bob, try to slink off..
That's right.. You lot.. Come back here..
You are all selling.. All of the time.
Selling isn't exclusive to salespeople you know.
You sell internally to gain approval, make change, secure budget, get promoted etc;
You sell externally when dealing with suppliers and vendors;
You sell to your friends, family and kids.
We are all buyers and sellers, and we all sell.. Like a lot! You get enthusiastic; you explain; you convince; you justify; you persuade; and you argue.
When you have something someone else wants or needs or when someone else has something you want or need.. You will sell!
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Selling and Negotiation are like Fire and Water – Elemental yet Completely Different
At their core, both are pivotal processes with one leading to the other.
Selling gets you to the negotiation table, while negotiation gets you to "yes".
The primary objective of selling is to persuade someone they need or want ‘something’.
The primary objective of negotiation is to reach an agreement on that ‘something’.
Two very different yet complementary disciplines.
The problem with selling lies in its inherent power dynamic.
When you're trying to sell something, whether it's a product, service, or even an idea, you're essentially placing yourself in a position of neediness.
You need them to say yes, to buy what you're offering.
This creates a power imbalance, with the seller often appearing more desperate or needy than the buyer.
One of the key differences between selling and negotiating is the distribution of that power.
When the Selling Stops the Negotiation can Begin. And so if the Negotiation Begins then the Selling Must Stop!
Selling weakens your position.
You see, at the point where someone wants to buy, it is not in their interest to agree with your arguments. If they do, they know they will weaken their own position.
In fact it is a known tactic to get the other party to ‘sell’ their position; The Provoker [read Tactic of The Week below].
Because; The More you Say The More Power You Give Away!
All so they can strengthen their own position!
Simples.
In essence, Negotiation Involves Actively Building and Maintaining Power While Selling Concedes Power
When you're in a negotiation, although you know that both parties are trying to maximise their own benefits whilst also minimising their losses, your aim is to strengthen your position and reach a favourable outcome.
This process inherently involves a balance of power, and your goal is to increase your leverage.
This will entail you provoking and controlling the other party to gain that leverage.
Any ‘selling’ to accommodate ‘them’ diminishes your leverage and therefore your bargaining power.
So if you Were to Continue to sell in a Negotiation, then you will Give Away Your Power
Perception of Neediness
If you sell in a negotiation it can imply that you're the one in need or the one who wants something.
You come across as too eager to get the deal done.
When this happens the other party perceives you as desperate. This gives them the upper hand, you lose leverage.
Loss of Credibility
Selling in a negotiation undermines your credibility.
If you're too pushy or if your claims sound too enthusiastic, the other party will doubt your integrity, which weakens your negotiating position.
Loss of Value
If you feel the need to sell in a negotiation then they will perceive you as not being confident in your position.
This implies that either you are movable or that the ‘thing’ you are selling is not as valuable as you've made it out to be.
Understanding the Differences Between Selling and Negotiation
Selling revolves around persuading potential buyers to take action.
Selling is:
Enthusing: generating enthusiasm and excitement about what you have;
Creating an emotional connection that motivates ‘them’ to take action;
Convince ‘them’ that what you have is the best fit for their needs;
Influence their perceptions and convince ‘them’ that what you have is what they want and/or need and that it is worth their investment.
Arguing: not in the confrontational sense dummy! Selling involves qualifying, presenting and justifying arguments in favour of your case. Explaining and trying to convince ‘them’ why what you have and ‘its’ cost is valid, reasonable, or necessary;
Providing counter arguments, credibility or legitimacy and responding to their objections to support or defend your case;
Justifying with logical, rational, explanations, reasoning and data to support your case;
Educating ‘them’ of the features, benefits and value propositions of what you have.
Negotiation, on the other hand, is a process of reaching agreements.
Negotiation is:
Provoking: again, not in the confrontational sense dummy, but challenging;
Positioning statements to increase or decrease the value of what you have or want, before you mention the price preconditions and challenges their perception of value;
Making proposals and statements to observe and deduce ‘their’ position from their reactions, emotions and behaviours;
Making and testing assumptions to gain information or encourage creativity, creating the opportunity for consideration.
Controlling: negotiation is all about control. Whoever is in control steers the discussion;
Creating the rules, the processes and managing the agenda increases your power;
Asserting yourself and telling ‘them’ what they need to do to reach agreement;
Taking charge of your own and ‘their’ emotions and behaviour.
Fire and Water. Can you see how different the two disciplines are?
When the selling stops.. negotiation starts.. So, if the negotiation has started the selling must stop.
Continuing to sell when you should be negotiating is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
You're outmatched, outgunned, and it shows.
You risk coming across as desperate, weakening your position and making it harder to achieve your objectives.
You will end up conceding too much, leaving value on the table, or worse, losing the deal altogether.
The key is Understanding When to Transition From Selling to Negotiation…
Want to know how?
Want to know about the tactic ‘The Provoker’ and how to defend against it?
Buy me a coffee and read on…
The Kahvay Sales Framework: Building Relationships, Creating Awareness, Understanding Demand
The Kahvay Sales Framework, also known as RAD, is a structured approach to sales that emphasises the importance of building relationships, creating awareness, and understanding demand before entering the negotiation phase.
Each step of the RAD process prepares both parties for negotiation.
If RAD is not fully understood or completed then negotiation becomes very difficult.
There is no point negotiating with someone who doesn't have a need!
There is no point negotiating with someone who doesn't know what it is that you have!
There is no point negotiating with someone you don't know!
Relationship (R)
Relationships lie at the heart of successful sales. Building strong, trust-based relationships is crucial for establishing rapport.
In the RAD framework, the Relationship stage is the initial phase, where the focus is on connecting with ‘them’ on a personal and organisational level.
Trust and Rapport: Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Build trust by demonstrating integrity, honesty, and reliability. Establishing rapport creates an environment where negotiation can take place;
Understanding The People: Effective relationship building involves understanding the people, their challenges and pain points and offering valuable insights, resources, or solutions to help address these challenges or achieve their goals.
Who will Negotiate: Never negotiate if you do not know who you are negotiating with. Seems simple enough but you’d be amazed at how often this rule is broken! In the relationship phase you need to know everything from the organisational structure to who the Queens, Kings, Bishops and Pawns are. Who has authority and who doesn't? Who are their stakeholders? How are they rewarded? What are their stresses?
Awareness (A)
Understanding their needs and wants and having clear confident arguments that enthusiastically educate them about what ‘it’ is that you have, that they want or need, highlighting the benefits and features.
You don't want to be explaining yourself in a negotiation.
You must ensure they ‘know’ what ‘it’ is they will be negotiating for before you negotiate.
In the RAD framework, the Awareness stage aims to ensure that ‘they’ have a clear understanding of what is being offered and how it can benefit them.
Educating and being Educated: You both need to know what ‘it’ is. You need to identify and qualify their needs and wants and they need to fully understand the value or benefits of what you have;
Handling Objections: During the Awareness stage, ‘they’ will raise objections or concerns. It is in this stage you qualify, present and justify any arguments in favour of your case;
Building Credibility: It is here that you also build credibility by providing logical, rational, explanations, using reasoning and data to support your case; case studies, testimonials, and reviews.
Demand (D)
The Demand stage focuses on just that; ensuring that they want or need what you have and that they are motivated to take action.
It is also here that you get to decide whether you want to give what you have. You might not want to..
But there is no point negotiating with someone over something they just don't want. That would be just plain dumb, ‘Fool’!
Once RAD is complete the selling stops.. And the negotiation begins.
So, the next time you find yourself in a negotiation, remember: don't sell, negotiate.
Your power depends on it.
Tactic of The Week
The Provoker
'The Provoker' is a negotiation tactic aimed at weakening your position while strengthening their own through provocation.
This tactic involves making you feel like you have to justify or explain your position, often by pretending to be ignorant or confused or by making you feel ignorant.
By repeatedly using; "I don't know" or "Explain this to me", the Provoker forces you to explain every detail, weakening your position.
The Provoker's goal is to push you into ‘selling mode’, where you feel compelled to over-explain or justify.
The more you say the more power you give away, providing valuable information that will be used against you.
They may also intentionally create an argument or disagreement to provoke that ‘selling’ reaction in you.
It is only natural, The Provoker exploits the defence mechanism, ingrained in all of us.
Defending against 'The Provoker' tactic requires conscious competence, solid preparation and emotional control.
Here are some effective counter measures:
Maintain Emotional Control and use Silence: Recognise they are attempting to provoke you and remain calm and composed. Responding emotionally only plays into their hands and weakens your position. Embrace silence and gather your thoughts. Silence is a powerful tool to disrupt the Provoker and it gives you time and space to regroup;
Stick to your plan, Know Your BATNA: Keep your objectives and priorities in mind throughout the negotiation. By staying focused on what you want to achieve, don't be swayed by the Provoker's tactics. If the Provoker's tactics become too challenging or unreasonable, be prepared to walk away and pursue your BATNA instead, your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement is your source of power;
Ask Questions and Control the Information Exchange: Instead of getting defensive, turn the tables by asking your own questions. Get the Provoker to explain their position. Be selective about what information you give and when. Avoid oversharing or providing unnecessary details that could be used against you. Keep sensitive information close to your chest until it's strategically advantageous to reveal it.
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